I would just like to say to all my followers, new and old, thank you so much for all your your love! It means a great deal and you motivate and inspire me everyday to keep going. You’re all wonderful!
I’ve been going through a lot of changes recently and I’ve been trying to achieve a lot in a small space of time. I was reasonably stuck in tunnel vision mode in my way of thinking and living my life before I forced myself in to this challenge. Before yoga, I filled my time with subjectivities some healthy and some also not so healthy. And I genuinely felt as though each activity I did, I found it hard to enjoy myself or appreciate what I had in the moment. Not really knowing what brought me joy. My heart continuously beat out of my chest irregularly and I felt as though there was nothing in this world that I could do that would make me feel fully content.
This scared me and I struggled with this concept. I refused to pretend to enjoy my life. I don’t want to wake up one day regretting my existence. And I was close to it. I just truly didn’t know how to handle my thoughts or my emotions for the most part. And I have an abundance of both. I knew I had to do something before I turned into the worst version of myself. It was happening though, slowly. It got to the point where I literally couldn’t control some of the words that would come out of my mouth. I could feel the life being sucked out of me and it was horrifying. Leaving what felt like a shell of who I used to be. Passing blame and not taking responsibility for my actions or thoughts. I know I wasn’t really bad, but I wasn’t good either. Exhausted and feeling like a zombie, I began a challenge out of partial desperation and a lot of curiousity with nothing to lose but the small amount of sanity I was holding onto with every ounce of strength.
Little over 3 week later, I feel as though I’m slowly eradicating that negative energy and feeling that I have found something that makes me feel as though I have an honest purpose. Not towards anyone else, but for myself. This is the first time I’ve started something for me that has made me fully content. I don’t get stressed. And that I can practice anywhere and everywhere. Working and building on your strengths, together with your weaknesses in order to progress them as a whole.
Yoga is not a competition, there is no end goal, just continued practice. It’s pure peace. I’m not saying that nothing else is truthful or real or loved any less when I do what ever it could be; it’s just that it’s the practice of all practices. It affects everything and is affecting everything. And not only is it the first choice I have made that has turned into a reality of mine, I’m also not fighting it. As soon as it gets hard, I look at my strengths and weaknesses and adjust. I choose to tackle the situation head on and I’m setting fear aside again. It’s the old me in a new light. And I am so thankful for it.
I’ll leave you with one of my favourite quotes by one of my favourite beings, the truly remarkable, Albert Einstein. Every time I read this quote it reminds me to accept change as a constant. Revel in the new beginnings and possibilities that one can create from a simple decision. Enjoy the freedom in your choices and focus on what makes you happy on the inside. Don’t be afraid to do something for yourself. Whatever it may be. Create your happy.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” – Albert Einstein.