I woke up this morning feeling excited. I decide after my morning brew that I needed to move my sofa in a better position so that I could utilise it more within my practice and have some extra stability when in certain inversions. And after a good hour and a half (more so two) of tidying up after the shuffle, I wanted to try something a little more challenging on the mat today.
I’ve been building my core and shoulders in order to attempt a forearm stand and my handstands. The work I have been doing is paying off too, but it’s the balancing and strength combined with the breathing that is the difficulty it’s cool though, because I feel far better now that the sofa is there as a buffer. Once I’m in the position I just focus on my breathing. I also try to avoid staying in the inversion for too long at this stage. As I don’t want any shoulder problems from forcing myself.
I’ve been bouncing between highs and lows the past few days as though it’s a never ending tennis match. It’s exhausting sometimes. I have found myself escaping into Netflix again as they added the entire series of Gilmore Girls, so you can all just assume that that is what I will be doing until further notice. It’s good escaping into tv sometimes, but also bad, because I feel guilty having spent so much time watching programs instead of working 24/7. But I can totally justify Gilmore Girls.
Things like the BFF and other personally chosen subjectivities are good stresses. I struggle with other stresses that I haven’t chosen nowadays. I don’t handle them as well as I used to. So I guess it’s time for me to find a new way to deal. And this is a massive trigger for my anxiety. I struggle to accept certain attitudes. Things have changed and I’ve outgrown a lot of previous situations that I used to feel superbly comfortable in. So now I feel reasonably weird in most situations. I don’t always feel weird but when I do it’s not usually a good thing. Feeling weird though and being weird are two very different things. I’m no stranger to being weird. I actually like my weird. Atleast I’m learning my triggers eh? Now to do something about them.