What Am I Afraid Of?
Such a sentence brings me to the thoughts that have haunted me for years.

To be a bird in a place that is made for hunters.

I am surrounded by beings who are afraid to be alone,

I have been this person.

Afraid to bend,

afraid to break.

But my world has changed and as the smoke dances above

sending signals of change,

I realise they are not the same as I.

I am meant to feel different.

I AM different.

I am meant to be.

Some may learn to understand.

Others, not.

I am losing sight of my fears.

I have gained a sense of calm within the chaos that has engulfed the world.

But I am not to worry of such,

as I am not fearful.

I am alive,

breathing breathes filled with thoughtful changes in each moment.

Learning continuously in motion.

I beg you, do not stop.

Do not let fear encapsulate you.

It feeds self doubt and trouble.

Embrace your self,

your mind.

You are the power for which you so crave.

You are the wisdom for which you so desire.

You are everything you need.

And for these words I write,

I give you the sign that I so craved;

a reminder that all is not lost within,

as long as you find yourself hoping for more.

Be that person you so crave.

Be what you need.

Be what you want.

Be who you are as unapologetically as you can.

Trust that you are enough

and you will find that being yourself,

is all this universe asks of you.

Just Be.


Times have changed…

And things have happened in my life that have pushed me to places where I’ve found strengths in weaknesses. I’ve learned lessons from the past few months have shaped my life in ways I could have never imagined. But truth bleeds into life in the most unsuspecting ways and the greatest gifts are given in moments of uncertainty. 

My best gift, to me, has always been my creative curiosity. Drifting off and waltzing back to me sporadically and just when I need it. It’s been the greatest tool in every aspect of my life for many things, from problem solving to finding friendship. In my younger years I dreaded the honesty of creativity. But now after many years of running too and fro, delving deeper into the unknown and learning to face fears through force, I have found myself learning and enjoying finding what works for me. 

I left a place I thought I loathed, briefly with all intentions of leaving certain aspects of my life behind me but realisations and saying “yes”, then “no”, then “oh shit what” and eventually “why”, I closed a door and opened another.

What you think and what actually is, is not the same. Changing my perspective has created an opportunity to find myself in a position to tackle things I thought I couldn’t, but now I feel as though I can’t stop trying to tackle these challenges I need to face. 

Approach life with the most daring version of your creative self and learn to be ever curious. You may bleed and feel pain but the reasons will become clear in time. Practice gratitude daily and realise that the creative process involves all emotions. Embrace uncertainty, because when you do, not only do you jump into the unknown with all intentions of finding something that will reflect change, but you teach yourself that fear is not real and that you are capable of doing and being what you want.